Switching Bodies
by Banshee Queen
Summary: When Arwen & Eowyn both put on a pair of mysterious rings, they find they are trapped in each other's bodies! But how long will they be stuck this way & what humorous events will follow suit?
1. Chapter 1

**Author/Banshee Queen: "Okay everyone hello and good day. Or night, whichever time zone you are in right now. Anyway this is my little fanfic "Switching Bodies", the first one I have done since...actually I can't remember. The idea for this story came primarily from the movie Freaky Friday starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan (forgive me if I've spelt their names wrong), in my fanfic I've made Eowyn sort of 'shift' into Arwen's body and vice versa. The outcome is in my opinion hilarious, and I hope you guys come to share that point of view. Onwards story!"**

**Disclaimer: "I don't own the characters of Arwen, Eowyn, Aragorn, blah blah blah, you know the drill."**

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**Switching Bodies **

**by Banshee Queen.**

**Chapter 1: I Want My Body Back!**

"So what now?" Sighed Faramir exhaustedly as he was dragged along by Éowyn who had her arm wrapped around his.

"Over there!" She pointed excitedly, pale face lighting up with a smile.

The Prince of Ithilien groaned, knowing he'd have to endure at least another two hours of torture. Faramir, along with Aragorn, had both been dragged by their wives Éowyn and Arwen to Gondor's annual "Halloween Fair". Both men had enjoyed celebrating Halloween by holding the fair each year, but after the candy, costumes and lantern pumpkins had worn off, they were now both absolutely sick of the whole holiday.

_This'll never end while the candy lasts. _Thought Faramir pouting at a child smiling up at him.

"Arwen come on," whined Aragorn, forcibly dragging his feet to keep up with his wife, "we've been around three times already! Don't you think you've seen enough?"

"Yeah," seconded Faramir, trying desperately to pry his left hand out of Éowyn's before she cut off all circulation, "can't we just go have a beer?"

Éowyn stopped abruptly in mid stride and flashed her husband a dangerous glance.

"No! We are not stopping at any tavern any time soon! You promised you'd come to the fair this year Faramir."

_Bloody men. Minds' always someplace else._

Aragorn's eyes widened suddenly as he looked over Arwen's shoulder at his friend.

"You promised? How could you?"

Faramir's face suddenly went scarlet as he adjusted the collar of his dress coat.

"Well…I, ah…Éowyn made me an offer I couldn't refuse."

Arwen frowned openly with disgust.

"Sick, real sick Faramir. And Éowyn? I am ashamed." She half mocked with disgust and humour.

The White lady unconsciously fixed her hair as she proceeded to drag her grinning husband along by the hand.

"Yes…well…our private lives are our private business, right honey?" She sang sweetly as she smiled at Faramir innocently.

"Right you are darling." He squeaked as she squeezed his hand tighter, cutting off _all_ circulation.

Aragorn roared with laughter.

"You said that out aloud Faramir? You know that's certain death. Geez you really are as stupid as you look."

Both Éowyn and Arwen whipped their heads right to look at Aragorn.

"What? What did I say? What? What?" Questioned the Gondorian King innocently.

Over Éowyn's shoulder Faramir was laughing at him.

"Ha ha ha, _friend_," he pronounced the word as foreign and with a little sarcasm, "anyone to say _that_ out aloud would most definitely have to be stupid and its not me!" He threw his head back with laughter.

"You're both just as stupid as one from the other!" Snapped Éowyn, and Arwen nodded approvingly.

Both men looked behind their wives backs and signaled toward each other; Aragorn held an invisible noose up around his neck and made a pulling gesture. Faramir chuckled quietly then quickly covered a hand over his mouth as if to cough when Éowyn shot another dangerous glance at him. Arwen saw what Aragorn had done and glared at her husband before haughtily correcting him.

"You should not say such things _Melamin_. It is not the proper way of a King."

Aragorn rolled his eyes and gritted his teeth. Looking past his 'perfect' wife, Aragorn saw Faramir pointing and silently laughing over Éowyn's shoulder. The golden haired beauty looked out of the corner eye and stomped down hard on her husband's foot. Faramir roared with pain as he hopped up and down on the spot, clutching his 'broken' foot. Aragorn at that moment however, doubled over clutching both sides, laughing and pointing hysterically at his friend who glared at him in pain. Fellow onlookers stared at the foursome, puzzled at their King's and Steward's odd behaviour. The Elf stared wildly about her, her search cut short once her eyes fell on her husband who abruptly stopped laughing and stood stiff-backed trying to look innocent. She frowned angrily at him before turning her eyes to look at Faramir who was grinning stupidly. Both woman dropped their husband's hands and stomped off in the direction of the nearby gypsy's tent Éowyn pointed out earlier on, dotted with silver stars against a sapphire background.

"Phew, that was close," said Faramir, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand, "we were almost turned into dog food."

"We weren't 'almost' turned into dog food, we are dog food." Hissed Aragorn grating his teeth together. Apparently the responsibilities of being and _acting_ like Gondor's King had come back to him as he was slowly recovering his poise.

"What? Okay whatever man, I'm going to get a beer, you comin'?" Asked Faramir as he turned to go, but hit the silver breastplate of the King's rearguard, resulting in him falling flat on his bum. "What the?" He questioned as he brushed off the sleeves of his cream coloured dress coat.

"They're my rearguards," said Aragorn as he helped his friend up, "and trust me, they're not gonna' go away no matter what you do. I've tried and failed so don't even bother. You know how good I am at creeping up on people and creeping away from them."

Faramir nodded impatiently and sought to make his way past the guard, but the guard stepped in front of him.

"Umm, hello? Steward of Gondor here," he waved, trying to emphasize his point.

"I know very well who you are My Lord, but it's the Queen's orders." The square jawed fellow said, planting himself firmly in front of Faramir.

"Queen? What?" Frowned Faramir confusedly. "I'm not married to the Queen, that would be this guy right here," smiled the golden haired man clapping his friend manly-like on the shoulder, "so if you don't mind, I'll just-

The guard stepped in front of Faramir again as he tried to swerve around him.

"I know who you are married to My Lord, but its by the Queen's orders that I am not allowed to let either one of you, the King of Gondor or the Steward of Gondor, out of my sight and that you are to follow the Queen of Gondor and White Lady, wherever they wish."

"WHAT?" Shouted Aragorn and Faramir in unison.

_So it's Arwen that calls the shots now huh? What about me? I'm the frickin' King around here._

Aragorn folded his arms crossly.

A few fellow onlookers looked at their King and Steward strangely. Aragorn lowered his voice before beginning;

"She said that?"

The guard raised an eyebrow at his King.

"I mean, the Queen said that?"

The guard nodded seriously.

"Great, this is just great!" Complained Faramir, throwing up both arms in the air.

"Well, I guess that kills just about any hopes of having a few beers to brighten up our day buddy."

Faramir looked upon his friend in horror.

"But you're the King! Don't you make the laws? Can't you do something?"

"Well I guess I-

"Aaah sire, the Queen also said to tell you that if you should change your mind…she…aah…well…"

"She what? Come on spit it out man! Out with it!" Ordered Aragorn impatiently, clearly annoyed at the fact that at this very moment he could be having a beer.

The guard stepped toward Aragorn and whispered something incoherent into his ear.

"You know at this very moment I could be having a nice cold beer Aragorn." Huffed Faramir, angrily folding his arms to prove his point.

Red spots suddenly bloomed on Aragorn's face who was clearing his throat noisily.

"Yes well, I think _we_ _will_ go follow the Queen and White Lady, if that's alright by you Beregrond."

The guard merely chuckled quietly and grinned at his King.

"As you say sire."

Aragorn quickly made his way toward the gypsy's tent.

"Whaa? What is he doing?" Questioned Faramir, looking suspiciously at the guard, and running after his friend. "What are you doing? I thought you were gonna' talk that guard into letting us go get a beer."

The King looked straight ahead, long strides outmatching his friend's by half.

"Hello? Beer to Aragorn? What did he say to you?"

Aragorn turned to face his friend, looking about them suspiciously and dropped his voice to a low whisper.

"She said if I was to ruin this day for her she'd turn off the tap!" He hissed irritably.

"Oh…" Faramir said dropping his eyes to the ground. "Okay I see your point."

They carried on toward the gypsy tent, Beregrond behind them smiling at their backs.

"It's a known fact that men can't live without s-

"Ssssshhhh! Aragorn hissed sharply as he clapped a hand over his friend's mouth. "Are you crazy? Talking like this in public? I could have your head for this Faramir," his friend looked at him limply, "never mind, let's just get to that damn tent before they have _our_ heads." Groaned Aragorn, stalking away.

Upon reaching the gypsy's tent, both the King and Steward stopped dead in their tracks.

Aragorn looked at his friend.

"Aren't you going to go in?"

Faramir frowned at _his_ friend.

"Well aren't you? You're leading the way after all."

"Beregrond, can't we just-

Before Aragorn could finish his sentence and Faramir begin his, Beregrond had pushed them both with effortless ease into the tent.

Faramir picked himself up from the ground.

"Is he even allowed to do that?" Questioned the Steward, brushing the dust off his sleeves once again.

Aragorn didn't reply, only stared at what was 'lying' in wait for both of them.

Sitting around a rounded table, Arwen, Éowyn, and a Southern looking gypsy woman laced in thick gold chains, dragging ragged skirts and a red bandana, all stared angrily at the two men before them.

"So glad you could make it." Piped Éowyn, unusually happy.

"Umm yeah, I'm just gonna' go get-

Started Faramir but was cut off by Aragorn who gently laid a hand on his shoulder and shook his head.

"Sires, please be seated." Requested the gypsy woman.

Both Faramir and Aragorn seated themselves on a wooden bench in synchronization near the tent flap. The two men took in her appearance. At first glance she looked no more than forty, but when they looked again she seemed years beyond that of their own mothers, had they lived today. Indeed she had a Southern look about her, olive skin darkened by days spent under the sun, dark eyes hardened by the years of the struggle for survival, and long dark hair knotted and frizzy gave away her heritage. A descended ant of the Haradrim perhaps?

"Gypsy woman, pray tell us your name?" Asked Aragorn, quite fascinated by the woman.

A warm smile spread from ear to ear before she answered. A kindly smile even, considering she was a gypsy.

"Marla."

"Marla," murmured Arwen deep in thought, "an interesting name by far."

Éowyn nodded in agreement.

All three seemed intrigued with the woman sitting before them except for Faramir who yawned and looked toward the entrance of the tent.

"Is there someplace else you should like to be Sire?" Asked Marla, casually flipping cards back and forth from Arwen and Éowyn's pile.

Both women twisted in their purple-velvet-covered-chairs to look back at Faramir. Aragorn frowned at his friend and elbowed him hard in the arm.

"Way to go Far," whispered Aragorn turning his gaze back to the gypsy woman.

"And you too Aragorn son of Arathorn."

Both Arwen and Aragorn stared open mouthed at the gypsy woman, but she merely laughed it off.

"You do not think that a simple woman such as I would not know the true name and lineage of both Gondor and Arnor's King now would you?"

The King suddenly felt ten inches tall and wanted to hide his face.

_Of course. _

How stupid of him.

"Go on Sires, I won't be offended."

"Well, if you put it that way Marla," Faramir said her name enthusiastically as he tightened his belt, "come along Aragorn, we've got some unfinished business to attend to."

"Oh I'm sure you do." Mocked Arwen, rolling her eyes over the comment.

Both Faramir and Aragorn stood and kissed their partners, murmuring affectionate words to each of them.

"If you need me I'll be with the council in the Citadel." Said Faramir into Éowyn's ear. A large smile lit up Éowyn's face. She knew her husband too well.

"Don't you mean having a pint with Aragorn?"

The golden haired man grinned mischievously, and then said;

"Yeah one or the other."

The couple both smiled and leaned towards each other for a kiss.

"If you need to find me I'll be with the council in the Citadel _Melamin_." Said Aragorn bending by Arwen's ear, voice almost inaudible to the others.

"Don't you mean having a pint with your friend Faramir over there?" She half laughed, gestured to Faramir.

A debonair smile reached the King's lips.

"Yes one or the other."

Both Elf and mortal smiled at each other as they're lips met with a soft kiss.

"Come on Aragorn!" Whined Faramir, hands placed haughtily on his hips. "I want a beer now!"

"In a minute alright?" Replied his friend. "Just give me a little more time here." The King leaned in close to Arwen's ear before whispering; "And where and when will I see you _Arwenamin_?"

The Elf looked up at her husband seriously before breaking into a giggle. She leaned into her husband's ear.

"In our bedchamber, tonight dear husband."

Aragorn stood upright and loosened the collar of his dark blue dress coat a little. The King beamed with admiration. Of late she had been 'expressing' her love for him more and more and each day he was always left wondering what her next move would be. He merely nodded and with a smile strode out of the tent with Faramir at his heels muttering a low; "Finally!"

Marla smiled and shook her head.

"Well now that our 'distractions' have left, would you like your fortunes told My Lady's?"

Before Arwen could even answer a 'yes', Éowyn broke in before her.

"What is that in the corner over there?" She questioned, puzzled at what was blinking at her furiously.

The gypsy lady twisted around in her chair and reached for a pallet behind her. When she set it on the table, both woman gave a small gasp. Encrusted within a silver band sat one sapphire ring and one white diamond ring.

"There is a story which goes with these pretties my dears." Said Marla gesturing towards the rings, though her tone suggested that there was something behind that.

"Oh skip the story," said Éowyn waving her hand for emphasis, "I'm sure nothing bad could ever happen by putting on a couple of pretty rings."

The gypsy woman rose an eyebrow clearly unconvinced.

"My Lady, before you do something such as that, I think you should hear the story."

Éowyn nodded and both women leaned forward intently.

"Some say it is just a myth or tale that these rings we see before us are cursed," Éowyn and Arwen glanced at each nervously, "but I think the folk who passed down this story were foolish to even suggest such a thing."

Both woman smiled at each other and held each other's hand tightly. Marla's face became grave and serious as she began again.

"Long ago in the Second Age when Sauron first seduced the Elven-smiths of Eregion into forging the rings of power, there were two others that Sauron himself made which the Elves had no knowledge of. These two that he made were shape-shifters and allowed him to shift from one form to another. Already wearing one of these, he would slip the other ring onto the other person's finger and by doing so, shift forms. Of course the other person would not have refused for fear of his wrath, but in this way he was able to escape and outsmart his adversaries until in the year 3262 when the Númenóreans came to make war on him, he surrendered for so great was their power. But by surrendering, he paid a price. His precious rings were taken from him, and he was sundered from them forever."

Marla looked at both woman, who sat undeterred at the fact that they wanted those rings on their fingers.

"My Lady's, I am unsure that this is a good id-

"Nonsense," reassured Arwen, reaching out for the white diamond ring, "it will be fine Marla."

Éowyn reached for the sapphire and slipped it on her finger.

"Oooo its so beautiful!" Cooed the White Lady.

But before Arwen had time to repeat her comment, a sudden squall shook the foundations of the tent. All three woman hit the ground as a huge gust of wind whipped their hair and garments wildly, Marla's belongings rolling, flying here and there. Dust stung their eyes and stained their dresses, covering everything in a thin layer of brown. They did not know how long they had lain there in silence waiting for the winds to die down, but when they opened their eyes, everything in the tent was askew.

Both Arwen and Éowyn picked themselves up from the ground and busied themselves with brushing off the front of their dresses. However, when they rose their eyes to look at each other, they both frowned.

"You-

Éowyn cut off, puzzled at why she was looking at herself on the other side of the table.

"And you-

Arwen cut off too, pointing at herself with the same look of bewilderment as to why she was seeing herself frown back at herself on the other side of the table.

At that moment both woman's eyes flickered down at their right hands and they realized something was amiss…

Éowyn had slipped on the sapphire ring…

…whereas Arwen had slipped on the white diamond…

Two high pitched woman's screams were heard from inside the tent as it dragged on to end in a sudden yelp.

Beregrond leapt into the tent, the hilt of his sword ready in his right hand, dark eyes darting here and there to the source of the trouble.

"What is wrong, My Lady's? I heard you both scream." He inquired.

"N-n-n-nothing is wrong Beregrond, go back to your post."

The guard frowned at Éowyn, wondering why all of a sudden it was she who was giving out the orders and not the Queen of Gondor. He looked toward Arwen for some sign of an order. Éowyn narrowed her eyes at Arwen, silently urging her to answer.

"Yes go back to your post Beregrond, we have no need of you." Answered the Elf, still catching her breath.

The guard frowned slightly, then marched back outside to his post.

"You're in my body!" Screamed Arwen.

"And you're in mine!" Screamed Éowyn.

"Now look what happened!" Roared the gypsy woman. "I told you it was not a good idea to put those rings on but you did not listen to me!"

Both Arwen and Éowyn whipped their heads left to look at Marla and rounded on her.

"You! You did not warn us this would happen!" Screamed Arwen, flipping her golden wavy hair out of her face.

"You did not give me enough time to point that out!" Retaliated Marla, one hand pointed at both of them like a pistol, the other planted firmly on her broad hips.

"What are we going to do?" Moaned Éowyn, sinking down into a chair, dark hair curtaining her face.

Arwen looked over at her friend, now slumped in her chair. Did she really look like such a sulk as Aragorn had said when something did not go her own way? No, Aragorn was just over-reacting. But then again he was right when he said she pouted adorably…She stalked towards Éowyn and pulled her out of the chair.

"Pull yourself together woman! We are going to get out of this! Stop acting like a girl and start acting like the Queen of Gondor for Valar's sake! You're making me look like a fool!"

Éowyn grimaced, looking at her body out through Arwen's eyes. Was this what she really looked like when she was mad? Faramir was right when he said he could see the 'ice-like fire' in her eyes when she was fuming. She shook her head and thought back to Arwen's last comment. Anger boiled inside of her like the Cracks of Doom, had they still existed to this day.

"I am the Queen of Gondor!" Yelled Éowyn, pointing a finger to her busty chest. "You are just the White Lady of Ithilien, so don't tell me how to act girl!"

Hang on, had she just said that? Put Arwen's title above her own? Calling herself the Queen of Gondor? And degrading the title of the 'White Lady of Ithilien' which was her! Labelling Arwen 'girl'. The Elf was nearly three thousand years older than her! This thing was _really_ taking its toll on her mind.

On the other side of the table, Marla laughed softly. To her it was absolutely hilarious seeing the White Lady of Ithilien insult herself like that, knowing she was trapped in that curvy and hour glass figure and in the thin and slender body there was the Queen of Gondor looking out through Éowyn's eyes at bodily version of herself.

"Look at me!" Yelled Éowyn, jutting out her chest, "my breasts are enormous! These things are in my way every time I try to move!" She hopped up and down on the spot just to prove her point. "And these hips? It's a wonder you haven't had children yet! I'll bet the distance you could cover over these things is akin to the distance it takes to get from here to Valinor!"

"Hey!" Arwen pointed her finger at Éowyn like a pistol. "I like my body so don't bag it! Do you think I like being stuck inside of this thing?" She ran her gaze from the top of her cleavage (the little that she had), to the ends of her feet. "You can barely even call this thing a rack! You're so flat-chested! And these limbs?" She waved her arms about in front of her to prove _her_ point. "They're practically skin and bones! Not to mention this hair!" She spat a strand of long blonde hair out of her mouth before speaking again. "Every time I open my mouth I get a whole hairball of it! _I'm_ so surprised you haven't morphed into a cat yet!"

"Hey!" This time it was Éowyn who pointed _her_ finger like a pistol at Arwen. "I like _my _body so don't bag it!"

"Sorry, I didn't mean it." Mumbled the golden haired woman.

Arwen stared at herself sitting down in that chair. Those sapphire eyes could lure and fool anyone had she wished to. Now she knew what Aragorn was talking about, saying that himself and no one else for that matter could not say no to those dreamy pools she called eyes. And now that she thought about it, she did look a little on the 'big' side. And damn! Wasn't Éowyn right for once, her hips were a little on the large side. But she was happy with her body and that was all that mattered.

"I'm sorry too." Mumbled Éowyn, wiping away a strand of chocolate brown hair out of her face.

Éowyn took a good long look at herself. Faramir was right when he said she looked like a stubborn mule when she didn't get her way or had just recently apologized to someone. And to think of it, she was a little on the thin side. Éomer had always said so, but she always brushed it off. And maybe she did need a trim after all, Arwen did seem to be spitting her hair out every two seconds. And maybe, just maybe eating a little more at meals times wouldn't hurt.

Éowyn sighed, curling her fingers around her dark hair.

"What are we going to do then?"

"Stop that!" Squawked Arwen making her way over to Éowyn and slapping her hand away from _her_ hair. "You'll give me split ends. That's why you have so many of them." She said as she waved a fistful of golden hair in her hand.

"Really? You can?" Questioned Éowyn, for once intrigued about something to do with beauty.

"Yes. Now, what are we going to do?"

They both turned to Marla who was picking up a few stray pieces of paper.

"My Lady's? Is there something you want?"

Éowyn opened her mouth in a perfect O', shocked at the woman's question.

"We want our bodies back!" Screamed Éowyn, marching toward the woman, her sapphire eyes alight with anger.

"My Queen?"

Arwen clapped a hand over Éowyn's mouth. A little too hard by the sound of it because she saw 'herself' grab onto the nearest chair with a small wince.

Beregrond poked his head through the tent flap warily and looked about the place. On the other side of the room Marla put on a fake smile, he ignored her and turned his eyes to the right where he could see the White Lady with a hand over the Queen's mouth. Judging by the way the Queen held onto the nearest chair as if clinging to dear life, something bad must've happened. The guard frowned at Éowyn, and she suddenly dropped her hand back against her dress in surprise.

"Is everything all right My Lady?" He inquired, suspiciously eyeing the other two women.

"Everything is fine Beregrond, what may you be wanting?"

The guard straightened and entered the tent fully.

"I have just been informed that King Elessar and the Steward of Gondor both request your presence at once in the Citadel."

"In the Citadel?" Éowyn stared out through Arwen's eyes, bug eyed.

Beregrond frowned at his Queen, growing a little indignant at his Queen's mysterious behaviour. She was not acting herself.

"Yes my Queen. The cooks shall be serving the evening meal soon and I thought-

"No matter Beregrond, we will be there."

The guard turned his head to look at the White Lady striding forward, linking arms with the Queen and hurriedly making their way out. Was it the White Lady of Ithilien who gave the orders now?

"What are you doing?" Questioned Éowyn through gritted teeth.

"We are getting out of here that's what!" Stated Arwen, clearly on a roll. But on a roll to what Éowyn wondered.

"Are you crazy?" Questioned Éowyn, blue eyes darting here and there at the small crowd of people who were now staring at the pair, "What are we going to do at suppertime? Aragorn and Faramir are not stupid men." Said the White Lady as she yanked Arwen's arm from 'her' icy grip.

_Oww_. Faramir was right when he said her grip was like a vice.

"I know they're not stupid men." Hissed Arwen, lowering her voice. "I'll just have to act like you normally would and you, like me."

"What?" Growled Éowyn gathering her skirts in hand and nearly tripping over them in the process whilst running after her friend. After three steps however she gave up trying to hurry after Arwen, her breasts really were a pain and 'jumped' every time she lifted a foot to run. After much groaning the White Lady caught up to her friend. "Me? Act like you? I'm not gonna' be all over Aragorn no matter what you say!"

Arwen stopped dead in her tracks and turned to look at her friend.

"I didn't ask you to 'be all over Aragorn' you fool, and even if you did, I'd knock some sense into your hobbit sized brain!" Arwen shouted.

"Oh I'm sure you would." The White Lady huffed, planting Arwen's pale hands on her broad hips.

Suddenly Arwen froze, but after a moment she drew herself up to her full height and glared at a few fellow Gondorians who were _again_ staring at them. Why wouldn't their Queen want to kiss their King? And why would the White Lady of Ithilien 'knock some sense' into their Queen's 'hobbit sized brain' if she were to kiss their King? Strange, but it almost seemed as though the White Lady of Ithilien was acting as though their Queen normally would, and vice versa.

"Look," began Arwen in a serious tone, "I don't like this either, but if we're going to be stuck in each other's bodies' for Valar knows how long, we might as well act like each other. Because lets face it, people are gonna' start wondering why we're acting strange and out of the normal."

Éowyn pouted, then after a moment sighed and drooped her head. "I guess you're right."

There was a moment's silence between the two, and when Éowyn rose her eyes to look at Arwen she found 'herself' looking back at her. She smiled.

"Let's do it then."

Arwen smiled back at her, and linking arms they slowly made their way up the seven levels of Minas Tirith, heedless of the peculiar looks people were giving them.

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**Author/Banshee Queen: "Too damn long? Like it? Don't like it? Tell me what you think. Oh also, for those of you who have read this chapter, you can tell that it's pretty long. All the chapters will be like this so you'll have to be patient in waiting for the next one/s to come along. Thanks for reading, and as always, please review."**


	2. Dinner & A Show

**Authour/Banshee Queen: "Thank you guys for your reviews (the first two in this whole thing lol) it made me put the assignments and what not on hold to post this thing up. Thank you for the suggestion Max about Arwen's immortal self but I had already written up these chapters months ago but maybe I could fit it in somewhere as I go along, I'll see what happens. :) Anyway here's the next chappie, hope you guys like it." :D**

**Disclaimer: "I _OWN_ this story but no the characters, places, yadda yadda..."**

**Chapter 2: Dinner & A Show**

As both the White Lady of Ithilien and Queen of Gondor made their way up the steps to the doors of the Citadel, Éowyn wrung her hands nervously. Arwen frowned at her friend and for the second time slapped her hand away from another of her 'bodily parts.'

"Stop wringing my hands out, you'll give me wrinkles."

Éowyn scowled at her friend.

"Geez, I swear all you care about is your looks Undómiel."

The Elf glowered at her friend menacingly.

"At least I'm not the one riding around on horses trying to kill the Witch King while getting myself a broken arm in the process."

"And a husband." Added Éowyn unaffected by Arwen's comment.

"Whatever," mumbled Arwen casting her a sarcastic look.

"Well what about you?" Questioned Éowyn placing Arwen's white hands on her wide hips.

Arwen whipped her head left to look at her friend in surprise.

"What about me?"

"Well you've basically spent your whole life nancing about reading poetry, sewing, singing, reading, looking pretty," Arwen glared at Éowyn for the last comment, "turning down every suitor who came your way until _Aragorn_ came along, and then you waited around for him reading poetry, sewing, singing, reading and looking pretty for another eighty years until you guys finally got together."

By this stage Arwen had Éowyn's pale hands planted firmly on her narrow hips, tapping her foot angrily. But Éowyn kept on seeing as how she was on a roll, irritating the hell out of Arwen really gave her and everyone in general for that matter, a laugh.

"I mean come on Arwen, out of all the Elf suitors you could've got with, you chose Aragorn? A mortal? What were you thinking?"

Arwen gasped in shock and widened her eyes at the remark, but then the gasp turned into a sneer of her mouth, and leaning back with a sarcastic gesture, she folded her arms angrily at Éowyn and remained half sneering and raising an eyebrow at the White Lady. Suddenly the realization of her words dawned on Éowyn and she stuttered frantically, trying to defend herself.

"You are such a walking contradiction Éowyn," Arwen started, "I'm not the one who had a crush on _my_ husband during the War of the Ring. You just couldn't handle that a man like that would take to a woman like me and that he would find happiness and love in a relationship such as ours. Sure, we may be of different cultures and yes, he _is_ going to die someday," 'Arwen's' eyes wavered for a single moment, "but our relationship is much more than you could've _ever_ had with him should he had taken a fancy to you and much more than what you have at this precise moment!"

Tears immediately pooled in Éowyn's eyes before making their way down her cheek. Arwen suddenly realized the impact of her words and made to touch her friend's arm but Éowyn pulled away, scrubbing vigorously at the tears staining her rosy cheeks.

"Éowyn I-

"Don't bother."

_Vush!_

A mighty gust of air breezed down the Citadel's hall as Éowyn banged open the doors with two tight-balled fists. Aragorn and Faramir whipped their heads to look at the source of noise coming through the Citadel doors. In half stalked, half walked Arwen whose eyes were red from crying.

_Why was she crying? _Thought Aragorn to himself confusedly._ She was fine when I left her. Mirthful even._

He looked left again to see Éowyn softly gliding along the white marble polished floor. She looked graceful…_regretful_ even.

_Was that guilt written all over her face?_

Faramir brushed away the thought, but exchanged a puzzled glance with Aragorn when Arwen sat down beside him at the long table. She stared rigidly at her silverware, almost as if off someplace else, but when Éowyn laid a hand on her shoulder with a sorry look, she quickly rose and joined Aragorn on the other side of the table. Aragorn looked over at his wife and smiled, placing a hand on hers. The Elf's sapphire eyes widened at the gesture, and she stared ahead now, her breathing becoming slightly quickened. Both woman locked eyes and Éowyn glared at the Elf, all traces of guilt and regret wiped clean from her face.

"Don't even dare." Growled Éowyn.

"Try me." Retaliated Arwen, just as quietly.

Both Aragorn and Faramir rose an eyebrow at each other in question.

_Do they think we can't hear them? _Thought Faramir.

_Are they well? _Aragorn eyed both women as he rolled the thought over in his head. The King of Gondor jumped from his thoughts when Arwen pressed a soft kiss on his left cheek. Aragorn turned his head and looked at his wife suspiciously.

_One minute ago she was crying, and now she's kissing me? What the hell happened with her and Éowyn? _

On the other side of the table Éowyn gripped her fork like she meant to stab Arwen with it. Unconsciously grinding her teeth together she stared at Arwen as if her eyes could throw knives.

"Honey do you wanna' give me th-

Faramir was silenced as Éowyn gave a rigid shake of her head.

_What the hell happened with her and Arwen? _Questioned Faramir to himself, eyes darting back and forth between the two women.

In four lines of five, marched liveried servants appearing from between the countless pillars of the Citadel hall bearing platters of roasted livestock, wine, cutlery and so forth. In under five minutes the table was laid magnificently, a feast fit for a king, or _the_ king. Arwen and Éowyn had glared at each other from opposite sides of the table the whole time, never even once taking the time to blink.

"Aaah, who wants a slice of roast pork?" Asked Aragorn timidly, his hand shaking all the while holding the carving knife.

"I will." Came Arwen's unusually perky voice as she held out her plate with both outstretched arms.

"I'd love some." Came Éowyn's forced icy reply.

Neither women had taken their eyes off each other.

_O-k. What were they playing at? _Thought Aragorn as he placed a second slice of roast pork on Arwen's plate.

"More."

The King turned his head in shock and looked at his wife, she was still looking at Éowyn as if she wanted to eat her whole.

_Isn't she on a diet? Trying to watch what she's eating?_

"But _Melamin_ I thought-

"More." Interrupted the Queen.

Aragorn placed another slice of roast pork onto her plate.

"More."

Another.

"More."

And another.

She finally stopped at eight, eagerly piling on the chicken drumsticks as well. Arwen watched her with disgust, Éowyn just smiling back fake-like.

"I want to look the best I haven't in ages. You know how the whole kingdom of both Arnor and Gondor depend on me to look my best…," Arwen lowered her brow at Éowyn, "…to look _beautiful_. Wouldn't you say so Éowyn?"

Arwen snatched the bowl of mashed potatoes from Faramir's hands before he could even protest his thoughts. Scooping a mountain full, she roughly splattered it onto her plate.

_SPLAT! SPLAT SPLAT!_

She thrust the spoon back into the bowl brutally.

"Well maybe if I ate a little more I wouldn't look like a walking, breathing corpse ready to throw myself off a horse and commit suicide."

Faramir openly choked on a mouthful of chicken, eyes bulging out of his head before Arwen patted him a little too roughly on the back.

"Are you alright darling? Don't need me to fall in love with another man and get him to help me pull the Heimlich maneuver on you, only to be rejected coz' he already has a girlfriend?"

Faramir, in the middle of wiping his mouth with a serviette, whipped his head left to look at his wife. She was smiling sweetly back at him. She hardly ever smiled like that! When she did however, something was very very wrong.

_Darling? What the? _

She _never_ called him darling. Not once they're whole time of being married.

"Éowyn I don't know what-

Began Faramir but was cut off by Arwen, smiling sweetly at _her_ husband.

"Aragorn honey, don't you think it's sooooo important for a wife to be able to learn such womanly practices before marriage."

The King swallowed nervously.

"Like what?"

_Honey? What the? _

"Oh you know, like reading poetry, sewing, singing, reading…_looking pretty_." Éowyn emphasized the last word pouting at Arwen on the other side of the table.

Both Aragorn's and Faramir's eyes widened as far as they would go.

_What the fu-_

"And did I mention being able to get rid of wrinkles?" Éowyn harshly remarked, wringing her hands roughly in front of Arwen. "You know you really shouldn't wring your hands out, even if you are pissed about something."

Aragorn and Faramir stared bug eyed at Arwen.

_Had she just sworn?_ Aragorn asked himself. _She never swears!_

_Whoa! Arwen just swore! _Thought Faramir, looking upon the Elf in a new light._ What is up with her and Éowyn tonight? _

Abruptly the Queen of Gondor threw her head back and laughed. "Oh look I'm wringing my hands!" She cooed.

"Yes look at my hands," began Éowyn studying them very carefully, all three heads whipped to look at her, "they would be bigger if I ate a little more," her blue eyes flickered up at Arwen, her voice dangerously low, "instead of sticking my fingers down my throat every night and chucking it all back up!" She screamed.

Aragorn immediately fell backwards off his chair while Faramir stared at his wife in disbelief and fear.

_She's bulimic? _

"Well at least I'm not as fat as this thing!" Squawked Éowyn, scraping back her chair and looking down at her stomach while Aragorn clambered back into his.

"Oh my God! You're calling _me_ fat?" Questioned Arwen scraping back her chair and placing both hands on her narrow hips.

"It would seem so wouldn't it Undómiel." Replied Éowyn harshly.

"Okay I don't know exactly what is going on here but Éowyn you are not bulimic! And Arwen you are not fat!" Said Faramir forcefully.

"Yes she is!" Yelled Éowyn from the other side of the table.

Faramir turned toward Arwen, frowning at her.

"She?" Questioned Aragorn still sitting but now looking up at his wife in confusion. "You're talking about yourself in second person _Melamin_. Why don't you sit down and drink a glass of water to clear your head."

"She means me." Growled Arwen from the other side of the table.

Faramir stared at his wife, jaw hanging open.

"Éowyn, you are not fat!"

"Oh I know that darling, but apparently I was stupid enough to fall in love with a man who was already betrothed to another who likes to read poetry, look beautiful, and make sure she didn't have any bloody wrinkles on her bloody hands!" She screamed at the top of her lungs at Éowyn.

"Harsh Undómiel. Real harsh." Said Éowyn as she turned abruptly from the table and made her way towards the Citadel doors briskly.

"_Melamin_ our chamber is that way." Called Aragorn pointing to a hall leading past the Steward's Chair.

Éowyn grumbled before stalking off in the direction Aragorn pointed.

"I'm going to retire now too." Said Arwen as she lightly kissed Faramir on the cheek and made her way towards the Citadel doors. The guests quarters were located on the sixth level of Minas Tirith.

"_I'm going to retire now too." _The words echoed in Aragorn's head. _Arwen said that whenever she was planning to retire for the night. _Strange Éowyn's behaviour, it was almost as if she were acting how Arwen would and vice versa. _Very strange_.

Faramir turned to look at his friend with his hands in his pockets once both women had left.

"Whoa."

"Yeah I know what you mean dude." Said Aragorn combing a hand through his hair.

The table was a mess. It looked like a hurricane had come through and created a pig's eating trough. Éowyn's mashed potatoes lay splattered all over her plate with some bits flicked onto the table as well.

"Guess I'll go retire too now." Said Faramir hesitantly. "You don't suppose it was just that time of the month do you?"

"No it was definitely something else. Strange though, it was like Éowyn was acting like Arwen-

"And Arwen acting like Éowyn." Finished Faramir. "…Except in different bodies, I guess."

Aragorn nodded but after a moment laughed. "No no, that's preposterous! I'd only believe that if it came out of their own mouths."

"Okay, but I'm telling you, something is up with our two women Aragorn, and I mean to find out what. It can't be the food or weather, and I'm pretty sure it's not that time of the month."

"Maybe so." Nodded Aragorn in deep thought. "Aaah well, we'll figure this out in the morning. See you at breakfast dude okay?"

Faramir smiled and nodded before making his way towards the Citadel doors. Aragorn sighed again and ran a hand through his hair.

_Time to face the wife._

In the guest chamber Arwen paced to and fro.

_What will he do? What am I to do? Lie there beside him? No way!_

The door opened to reveal Faramir. He smiled at her, unbuttoning his cream coloured dress coat. Arwen went red in the face and turned her back on him abruptly, shielding her eyes with a hand pressed to her temples. Behind her Faramir laughed, taking his coat off fully, now bare chested.

"Playing games honey? What was up with you and Arwen before? Throwing insults one after the other at each other, and the insults," Faramir pulled back the covers of the bed and climbed in, "…so weird. It was like you were bagging yourself and vice versa. Odd really."

"Do you have a shirt on?"

"What?" Faramir looked at Éowyn shielding her eyes from him.

_Odd._

"Do you have a shirt on?" Repeated Arwen, feeling like such an idiot at having to act like this.

"Uhh no, does it m-

"Put a shirt on." Said Arwen as she rummaged through Éowyn's walk-in wardrobe. Eight long white silk night gowns hung in one corner of the wardrobe.

_Nice. The woman has taste. Goes with her skin. _Thought Arwen as she glanced down at the night gown in her hand and then at Éowyn's arm._ Could've opted for a different colour though. Guess that's why they call her the White Lady of Ithilien. _

"Umm Éowyn-

"Not now I'm…I'm busy…kinda' facing, something complicated." Replied Arwen as she looked down at the gown then at Éowyn's stomach.

_Oh God why me? _

"But why do I have to put a shirt on?"

Arwen glanced at Éowyn's flat stomach again.

"Faramir please, I'm a little stressed out at the moment."

"It's a little bit hot tonight and I thought…"

Faramir's voice drifted away as her thoughts took the lead.

_What the hell. Just don't look down, don't look down. _The little voice in her head said as she quickly slipped out of the white trimmed-gold dress and into the white silk night gown.

_There. It's over._

"…I'd spend some much _needed_ and _promised_ quality time with you."

Arwen jumped as she felt Faramir's arms slide around her narrow waist and the warmth of his chest heat up the cold skin of her back. Strange that she should feel cold when Faramir said he was hot.

"You haven't got a shirt on!" Said a shocked Arwen, turning around to face the Prince of Ithilien.

He laughed, pulling her closer by her upper arms against his chest. There was nothing for it but to be lead by him.

"Yeah so? Aren't you attracted to all this manliness?" Joked Faramir as he leant in for a kiss.

For a split second Arwen turned bug eyed and gaped before turning away.

"Uhh yes I am Faramir, but tonight I'm just feeling a little sick and I don't think the food went down too well. I'm just going to-

The golden haired man sighed and dropped his hands from her arms.

"I understand."

He walked over to a nearby dresser and taking out a loose long sleeved white cotton shirt, pulled it over his head.

"Happy now?" He questioned as he climbed back into bed.

Arwen nodded, rubbing her left arm and Faramir smiled. After a moment of silence he stared at his wife.

"Are you coming to bed?"

"Uhh yes, yes." Replied Arwen, awkwardly clambering into the King sized bed.

She quickly snuggled down under the covers, facing the other way and as far to the edge as possible. It all seemed in vain though when Faramir blew out the candle and snaked an arm over her hips, his hand comfortably nestled on her slim stomach. Arwen lay there, eyes wide open in the dark, trying to slow her breathing down. She could feel Faramir's chest pressed up against her back and the rise and fall of his breathing, his face nestled in the crook of her neck.

This was going to be a very long night and a very long uncomfortable sleep.

As Éowyn came to the chamber she was to be sleeping in tonight, she inhaled deeply.

This was Aragorn and Arwen's bed chamber. The one they slept in every night.

_The one they slept in every night? What am I, twelve? _

The one they…did _naughty_ things in…

_Ugh!_

An immediate surge of spittle gathered in Éowyn's mouth and all of a sudden her eyes were darting around looking for the nearest lavatory.

_I think I'm gonna' be…no! Stop acting like a child!_

Brushing the thought away she inhaled deeply again and pushed open the heavy wooden door.

The room was lit with two candles, one near the door and another next to the bed on the left. Éowyn peered around the room, there was no sign of Aragorn so far and thank goodness for that. Abruptly she realized she was wringing her hands again and smiled; she was giving Arwen wrinkles.

"What are you smiling about _Melamin_?"

Éowyn jumped and gaped at the sight of Aragorn as he strode out of the walk-in wardrobe. He was bare chested, wearing nothing but a pair of loose dark blue cotton pants. Spots of colour bloomed on her cheeks and she turned away, trying to hide her eyes with a hand pressed to her temple.

"Uhh n-n-nothing, nothing."

Aragorn chuckled, making his way toward her. Éowyn jumped as she felt Aragorn lay his hands on her hips, slowly massaging them.

"What's wrong _Melamin_?"

"Uhh, it was just the food tonight, I really don't think I'm in the mood-

_In the mood? Get your mind out of the pigsty Éowyn! _

"The food? I think it might've been something else. You were acting really strange, both you _and_ Éowyn."

Éowyn spun to face him at the mention of her name.

"Oh? What about her?" Asked Éowyn, casually waltzing over to Arwen's side of the walk-in wardrobe and flicking through the countless garments.

Aragorn laughed and gave her a puzzled look while searching for a dressing gown.

"What about her? You two were acting so strange. Insulting yourselves, bagging yourselves. You said "well at least I'm not as fat as this thing", what was that supposed to mean? It was almost as if you and Éowyn were trapped in each other's bodies or something and were insulting each other on your looks."

Éowyn chuckled nervously.

"Yeah that, well that was just a girls' tiff." Replied Éowyn as she picked up a silk lilac night gown. There were others, cut shorter, cut longer, different colours and different styles. This one seemed the most decent one of the lot, ankle length, except for the low cut V at the front. Éowyn grimaced ruefully at herself in the mirror. No wonder Arwen liked the colour lilac, it suited her well.

"A girl's tiff? Geez you women sure know how to pull one off well."

Éowyn looked down at her busty cleavage.

_Oh God why me?_

"You know I seem to recall a certain Queen of Gondor promising me she would meet me in our bed chamber tonight…"

Aragorn's voice drifted off as Éowyn's thoughts took the lead.

_Don't look down, don't look down. That's the key, just breath. Breath Éowyn, breath._

Éowyn looked down at Arwen's protruding chest and half groaned, half winced. Suddenly one large hand curved around her belly, the other fiddling with the laces of her bodice at the back of her dress, and Aragorn's mouth was roaming over her shoulder all at once. The White Lady screamed in surprise and jumped out of Aragorn's clutches.

"What? Don't you want to-

"No no no, it's not that I don't want to", started Éowyn, then stopped short.

_What? You want to…_

"I-I mean, that is", Aragorn slowly advanced toward her, every muscle in his upper body moving with his walk, "I-I wouldn't mind-

_Wouldn't mind? Are you crazy?_

"Uhh, what I mean is", Aragorn latched an arm onto her hip, his mouth grazing the soft skin of her neck, "…I HAVE IRRITABLE BOWL SYNDROME!" Éowyn blurted out before she could stop herself.

The King's mouth stopped in mid 'bite' and he moved back to look her in the eye.

"Irritable Bowl Syndrome Arwen?"

Éowyn exhaled loudly before breathing; "Uh huh", with a vigorous nod of her head.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Questioned Aragorn, bringing his other arm around her back.

"Uhhhhhh…", the White Lady frantically searched for an answer, "I didn't want to upset you."

Aragorn frowned at his wife.

"Upset me? And how exactly would you have upset me by telling me that?"

"I have no clue", squeaked Éowyn, gripping onto the night-gown as if it were a life-saver. "I'm gonna' go change, umm, just- stay right there", she gestured nervously before turning away with a fake smile and closing the bathroom door tightly behind her.

_I'm a goner, I'm a goner! _

Éowyn leant against the door and exhaled deeply, catching _her_ reflection in the mirror opposite her.

"Why oh why did it have to be you Arwen?" She questioned Arwen's reflection. "No matter", she grumbled, pulling the dress over her head and changing into the other one.

_Hey! I did it! I did it! _Cheered the voice in her head realizing she had 'accomplished' getting changed without having to look at Arwen's body.

"I did it! I did it! Woo hoo!" Hoorayed Éowyn as she skipped about the bathroom laughing.

"Did what _Melamin_?" Knocked Aragorn with an ear pressed against the door.

The White Lady yelped in surprise and stopped in surprise.

"Uhh, nothing honey, I just"- she glanced down at her generous cleavage- "had a little trouble getting into this gown."

"Oh", came Aragorn's muffled voice, "well do you need some help? I could-

"No no, it's fine", smiled Éowyn as she opened the door and made her way towards the bed.

The bed.

She stopped short realizing she didn't know which side Arwen slept on.

_Shit_.

Aragorn silently walked up behind her.

"Something wrong?"

She shook her head nervously and instead made her way to the window. Better to let him get in first then make a fool of herself.

Looking out upon the White City, Éowyn softly gasped. She had never really taken much interest with the view of Gondor, but from this view, it seemed quite impressive and magnificent.

"Wow", whispered Éowyn looking out over the White City. It seemed to glow in the moonlight.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Remarked Aragorn, propped up on one elbow, fondly looking upon his wife.

Éowyn nodded, eyes still roaming…they came to rest on the Guest Houses one level below. Her white knuckles crackled, eyes narrowing in anger at a white building below, teeth grinding against one another.

_If she tries one thing…she'll wish she was never bloody born! Bloody Elf thinks she-_

"Coming to bed?" Asked Aragorn, pushing back the purple coverlets.

Éowyn whirled around and gripped the window-sill in fear. Anxiety like a raging flood sped through her veins like an avalanche. She nodded nervously, and quickly but shakily climbed into bed, lying down awkwardly to the farthest side of the bed, hoping to God she didn't roll off the edge onto the floor. But however good her intentions seemed, Aragorn thwarted them by pulling her in close to his body, wrapping an arm tightly around her waist. In the dark, Éowyn's eyes bulged out of her head disbelieving was she was _feeling_. Behind her Aragorn sighed, burrowing deeper into the crook of her neck, breathing deep the scent of her dark hair.

_One night of this. _Thought Éowyn shifting uneasily under Aragorn's hold. _One night in this bed and in these arms and I'll be back to normal…I hope._

As Éowyn inhaled deeply and closed her eyes slowly drifting to sleep, another thought crossed her mind. This would be an awfully long night in the arms of a man she had once loved.

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**Author/Banshee Queen: "So? Good? Bad? Should I quit my day job?" :D**


	3. Pleasant WakeUp Calls & A Road Trip

**Author/Banshee Queen: _(Relieved sigh) _I am so sorry peoples! I know its been a hell of a long time to post this next chapter but I had end of term assessment, tests, assignments, orals...ugh. It killed me having to get through them but now that its the holidays I'll be writing alot more& again please forgive mefor the long delay. **

**This chapter I think is a bit more on the 'touchy feely grabby' side, and when I say 'grabby' I mean 'grabby'. You'll see. Anyway tell me what you think of this chappie, I've been dying to get it done & posted for you guys. Happy reading. :)**

**Disclaimer: "I don't own anything cept' my story."**

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**Chapter 3: Pleasant Wake-Up Calls & A Road Trip**

Golden light rained down from a window above the bed when Arwen's eyes flickered open from the pain of something heavy pressed against her flat chest. Judging by the intensity of its glare she squinted.

_Probably 9, 9:30._ Said the little voice in her head.

Straining her eyes to look down, she grunted. It felt as if someone had placed a boulder the size of Mount Doom on her chest. When her eyes finally landed on what they sought, they froze. Faramir's head was comfortably nestled between her breasts, mouth open in an adorable little O-shape. His right hand rested on her stomach, feet entwined with hers. Arwen's heart pounded like a drummer boy practicing his worksheet.

_How to move his hand and_-, Arwen looked down hopelessly, -_this brick of a head._

As if reading her thoughts, Faramir stirred, lifting his head and twisting around to smile down at her.

"Good morning gorgeous."

The Elf managed a strangled laugh.

"Gorgeous? Why- why, why would you call me that?"

Faramir frowned at her in confusion as if her comment were sarcastic, at the same time tugging a dark green robe onto his shoulders.

"Because you _are_ gorgeous, because I _love_ you, and because you're my _delectable_ wife", grinned Faramir as he planted a quick kiss on her lips before striding off towards the bathroom looking back at her all the while smiling widely.

_Oh God, oh God, oh God! _Moaned the voice in her head as her head hit the pillow hard. _What to do, what to do… _

Sitting upright she poked her head out the window, rubbing her neck as she craned it up one level of Minas Tirith, the King and Queen's quarters…her quarters…she felt her knuckles whitening at the thought of Éowyn trying something, anything…the blood drained from Arwen's face. What if she _had_ done something? What if…what if…_Aragorn_. The Elf's thoughts turned to her beloved, and in misery she sank back down beneath the coverlets, despairingly chewing over the fact that she was stuck in the body of a woman she hated.

When Éowyn opened her eyes to a beam of sunlight streaming through the curtains of the window next to her bed, she instantly froze. Something warm and large lay contentedly on her chest.

_Well, Arwen's bloody chest. _Thought Éowyn.

Taking a second look down again she cringed under Aragorn's 'grasp.' With his head on the pillow facing towards her, legs entwined within hers; his right hand moulded her left breast perfectly, even shifted occasionally under her breathing or if she moved an inch. Suddenly his hand left her breast and began wandering further South. Éowyn exhaled deeply but not soon after she gasped and held her breath, wondering how 'far' Aragorn would go. She could feel his hand slowly creeping down, down, down…Éowyn flung back the covers and leapt out of bed with a dismayed yell. Without warning Aragorn's eyes opened wide, but softened once seeing her stunned expression.

"_Mae Govannem Melamin_." Smiled Aragorn.

_Melamin…I know this one…'My Love' isn't it? But what the hell was Mae-_

"What?" Questioned Éowyn shifting under his gaze.

The King erupted with a roar of laughter, slapping his hand on the mattress hard.

"I'm sorry if I startled you _Melamin_", laughed Aragorn, "guess that's not the best way to wake up huh? Should've warned you at least." He threw her a large grin followed by a wink before opening the bedroom door and closing it quietly behind him.

"Should've warned me alright", said Éowyn to no-one in particular rubbing her collarbone nervously.

Waltzing slowly over towards the window once the tension of being in the same room as Aragorn had worn off, the White Lady looked out again upon the White City. It looked so beautiful.

_So beautiful in any light in fact. _She regarded.

Her eyes came to rest on the Guests Quarters again.

"Arwen, Arwen, Arwen", she sighed running a hand through Arwen's head of long dark hair, "you are such a lucky woman, lucky enough to have my Faramir in your arms."

A single tear trailed down her cheek, and she wiped it away quickly, frowning at the sudden surge of spittle reaching her lips. Éowyn bolted for the bathroom door just as Aragorn reappeared with a parcel in his hands.

_BANG! _

The door slammed shut and the next thing Éowyn knew, she was sitting on the bathroom floor with her head resting against the toilet seat.

"Ohhhh", moaned the White Lady gathering herself up and flushing the toilet.

A knock at the door made her jump.

"Arwen? Are you alright? What's wrong?" Came Aragorn's worried inquiry.

"I'm fine, I'm fine Aragorn", she replied shakily, wiping a hand of cool water over her face.

"Alright then, if you need any help call me okay?"

"Will do." Whispered Éowyn to herself.

_What brought that on? Surely not the weather or food from last night…probably just nerves._

Éowyn slowly peeked around the side of the bathroom door.

No sign of Aragorn.

The White Lady hurriedly searched through Arwen's closet for something decent to wear.

_Ugh, more stupid low-cut gowns_.

Then by some wonder Éowyn's eye caught something yellow to the end of the rack. A canary yellow shimmering gown of silk, the rim of the neck swooped low, but high enough to cover the cleavage area.

"Perfect", whispered Éowyn smiling.

"Aragorn!" Called Faramir waving to his friend and casually jogging over. "Hey, how ya' doin'?"

"Alright", smiled his friend, "and you? How's Éowyn by the way? Don't know where Arwen was before I reached our chamber last night, and even then she was all jumpy."

"Yeah me too", frowned Faramir scrubbing a hand through his hair, "did you notice anything strange in your wife's behaviour last night? Anything at all?"

Aragorn frowned at his friend over his knee, hurriedly lacing one boot. "No why? Something happen between you and Éowyn?"

"No," Faramir hesitated, "well yes, she shielded her eyes with a hand after I took my shirt off, moments later acting all shocked and going pale to see me without one before asking me to put one on. Strange, so strange dude."

Aragorn nodded deep in thought.

"I know what you mean, Arwen stood staring out the window last night as if reluctant to come to bed and looking down on the Guests' Quarters I saw her knuckles _whiten, _whiten man! It's as if she were angry or something." The King sighed deeply. "I don't know, I just don't know. She was sick this morning too, think it might've been something to do with the food last night, that chicken just didn't taste right to me."

"Mmmm", Faramir nodded, mind off someplace else as usual.

"So what's up? Anything in particular you wanted to tell me?"

"Well there was something…but now I just can't put my finger on it", Faramir grinned knowingly, "oh well." An even larger grin followed suit.

Aragorn sighed and laughed heartily before saying; "2 games of pool before breakfast?"

The fair haired man nodded enthusiastically before walking off with an arm placed around his friend's shoulder.

"There you are!" Exclaimed Arwen walking briskly towards Éowyn. "And what in Middle-Earth are you wearing?"

Éowyn whipped her head left to look at 'herself' half walking, half running towards her. Sitting at the 'breakfast table' in the Citadel she idly stared ahead at the opposite wall.

"Canary yellow", said Éowyn coldly, "lovely isn't it?" She said picking up her tone, scraping back her chair and twirling around in a circle just to look the part.

"It makes me look fat, is something that'd I'd never normally wear and is way too bright on the eyes Éowyn."

"Oh really? And what makes you think I oh say…give a shit?" Yelled Éowyn.

Arwen's lips immediately curled into a snarl and she firmly planted her hands on her hips.

"You've got some real nerve talking to me like that Éow-

"I've got some nerve?" Cut in Éowyn raising an eyebrow fiercely.

"Yes you do." Replied Arwen.

"Let me tell you something Evenstar", began Éowyn prodding a finger hard into 'her' own chest, "_you're_ the one who's got some nerve insulting me the way you did yesterday afternoon so don't give me that shit, bitch! Cause' these ears aren't listening." With that, Éowyn turned away abruptly, stalking towards the doors of the Citadel.

"So first you insult me, my 'lifestyle'" Arwen used inverted commas, "_my_ man and our relationship and expect me to feel guilty about saying what I did?"

Éowyn's jaw hung open, eyes bulged out of her head.

"You should feel guilty you spoilt bitch! You insulted my good deeds during the War of the Ring, and said that you have so much more than I do with Faramir now!"

"Hey!" Shouted Arwen loudly, "Don't go calling me a bitch Goldie-Locks when you're the one who's always acting like you can get your way and always get away with it!"

"Excuse me? I'm not the one always playing the sad, willowy-elf, forlorn 'oh look at me my people are sailing into the West' type act! That show went bust a long time ago honey!"

This time it was Arwen's turn for her eyes to protrude from out of her head.

"That was harsh Éowyn, and uncalled for." Ended Arwen quietly, blue eyes penetrating her offended-stance.

"Not as harsh as what I could say…" Mumbled Éowyn turning to go.

"What?" Arwen's eyes widened with suspicion as she eyed her 'friend'.

"Nothing you don't need to know Undómiel." She pronounced the name sharply.

"Don't give me that crap Éowyn I-

As one, a million thoughts tumbled through her head.

_Does she know something I don't? Has Aragorn said or done something he shouldn't have? Has she-_

Then it dawned on the Elven Princess, and her face was a mask of pure horror.

_Did Éowyn try something last night? _

Arwen was on her in a second, both hands gripping 'her' shoulders tightly, teeth grinding sharply against themselves, voice a squall like a rising hurricane.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?" Arwen shrieked like a banshee, boring down upon the quivering Éowyn.

The Rohirrim Princess cowered beneath 'her own' furious gaze but then smirked and straightened, pushing Arwen back.

"NOTHING THAT YOU WOULDN'T LIKE TO KNOW!" Screamed Éowyn pushing Arwen back roughly.

"WELL I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW!"

"ALRIGHT!" Yelled Éowyn feeling the blood drain from her face once she calmed down.

_Wow…did I really just yell like that? _Thought Arwen as she unconsciously smoothed her skirts. _I must be steel. A queen must always outwardly have a stance like steel. Steel…calm, cool and serene. Breathe…_

Éowyn stared at her friend blankly, wondering what on earth she was thinking while standing there staring at the ground like a vegetable.

_No matter what she says, it can't hurt you._

"Arwen? What the hell are you doing?"

"Nothing", the Elven Princess murmured, eyes bent to the ground.

"Well before I tell you anything we need to sort out what we're going to do about this whole situation" began Éowyn lifting her voice as she turned to stare at one of the many statues of Stewards lining the hall.

"And? Any plans hidden away in that blonde skull of yours?"

The White lady muttered something incoherent which Arwen was sure, was not a nice 'compliment.'

"Say we're going on a trip."

"A trip?" Arwen raised an eyebrow in question.

"We need to find that woman, she's our only way of getting back to normal Undómiel."

"Don't call me that!" Retorted the Elf.

Éowyn placed her hands on her hips, neck craning forwards.

"Well that is your name isn't it? Or do you prefer different identities?"

"No that would be you, _Dernhelm_." Hissed Arwen.

"Smooth, real smooth Undómiel."

The Elf simply glared contemptuously at her 'friend.'

"A trip huh? Well then we better get packing." The blue eyed Elf flipped 'her' blonde hair over her shoulder and stalked off towards her room.

"You're forgetting something very important Undómiel."

"And that would be?"

"Where we're going stupid."

Arwen hissed loudly at the mention of the word and sniffed arrogantly before questioning; "Well where are we going?

"Rohan", Éowyn stated proudly, smiling and crossing her arms.

The Elf's eyes widened in horror.

"What?"

"You heard me", replied Éowyn waving away two impatient servants.

"We can't go there!" Whined Arwen marching after 'herself.'

"And why not?" Roared Éowyn whipping Arwen in the face with her own mane of dark hair as she spun to face her.

"I can't ride like a bloody soldier like you can!"

A coy smile formed on Éowyn's pout-like lips.

"Oh yes I forgot, you're more of an 'inside girl' with 'inside hobbies'."

"That's not what I meant blondie", growled Arwen fixing the skirts of her red dress. By some wonder she had found the thing at the back of Éowyn's closet all creased and crumpled. "Acting like you is a cinch if you're a tomboy", continued Arwen watching Éowyn's expression darken, "but I can't very well ride like you and I don't know the ways of the Court in Rohan."

"Lucky for you then. My brother is easy going when it comes to matters of the court and he won't greet you too formal-like. We're brother and sister and he knows I hate that sort of thing. He won't make you do anything against your will unless it is absolutely necessary."

The Elf nodded deep in thought, seeming to weigh up the good points and the bad.

"Good", nodded Éowyn seeing that Arwen had given it enough thought to say yes.

"You realize you're going to have to be the one to make this request, don't you?"

A look of horror streaked across Éowyn's face.

"Why does it have to be me?"

"Because you're the Queen of Gondor", replied Arwen in a high pitched mimicking tone, "because you're beautiful and use your assets to get your way with the King, and because you're an Elf who has to have everything done to perfection."

"I never said any of the last thing you said Undómiel", glared Éowyn.

"Yeah but you were thinkin' it."

"Whatever", grumbled the White Lady.

Right at that precise moment the doors to the Citadel flew open and in walked Aragorn clutching the sides of his stomach laughing hard while Faramir walked beside him eagerly continuing his joke.

"…and then he said that Treebeard had lost his marbles and wouldn't be surprised because after seeing him spot one floating in the water at Isengard."

Aragorn doubled over, face going red from laughing so hard. Both Arwen and Éowyn instinctively grabbed onto a chair to hold themselves up, dreading the task of having to greet 'their husbands' without showing a little affection.

"_Melamin_." Smiled Aragorn walking over towards Éowyn with both arms outstretched.

The little hope Éowyn had inside of her shattered into a million pieces and she unconsciously turned bug-eyed as the King of Gondor wrapped both arms around her and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

"Uhh…_Mela-min_", the word came out as slur as Éowyn smiled nervously, stance as rigid as a pole.

On the other side of the table Arwen was forcibly trying to relax within Faramir's warm hug.

"How was your morning?" Asked Faramir stepping back and smiling at her. "Miss me? I know I missed you."

At that moment Éowyn looked over at Arwen and Faramir together and hearing Faramir's words stared forlornly at Arwen, waiting for her reaction. She merely smiled timidly and rubbed her arm, again smiling anxiously when Faramir pulled out her chair for her and kissed her cheek before seating himself.

_Oh God Faramir…if I was over there I'd, I'd-_

"What were you saying Arwen?"

Aragorn's voice echoed across the top of her thoughts and the White Lady looked up suddenly, a surprised look painted on her face.

"A trip."

"Oh? Where to?" Mumbled Aragorn carefully trying not to cut through a piece of fried egg without the yolk breaking.

"Rohan."

Faramir abruptly coughed on a piece of bacon.

"Rohan? You of all people?" He questioned raising an eyebrow in astonishment.

Aragorn glared scornfully at his friend, Arwen's eyes alight with blue fire.

"It wasn't actually me that wanted to go", Éowyn winced inwardly, feeling a part of her heart dissolve right then and there, "but Éowyn."

"Well now that makes sense", mumbled Faramir scooping up the last of his fried egg.

"Can it Faramir, or I'll take away your right to have children."

The fair haired man stared at his friend in shock, going pale in the face almost instantly. Aragorn ignored him, instead turning his eyes to Éowyn who looked like she would throw up any minute now.

"Rohan? The four of us? Like with a road trip and everything?"

Éowyn turned her head left and looked at Aragorn whose eyes were shining bright with eagerness and somehow laced with mischief. Looking back at Arwen she saw the nervousness in her eyes and kicked her with the heel of her shoe.

"Oww!" Hissed the Elf, glaring at the White Lady with disdain. After a moment she sighed deeply and looking up at Aragorn muttered; "Yes Rohan. I've missed Éomer of late and want so much to see him again."

"_Missed Éomer of late?" What the hell? I don't even know the guy! _Yelled the little voice in Arwen's head.

"Well alright, let's do it!" Cheered Aragorn scraping back his chair and jumping up into the air.

"Oh man this is gonna' be awesome!" Cried Faramir smacking Aragorn a high five as the two began to dance around the table together.

From the breakfast table both Arwen and Éowyn stared at their husbands in disbelief, jaws hanging wide open.

"Road trip!" Laughed Aragorn loudly.

"Pranks!" Squealed Faramir linking arms with his friend and doing a little jig.

They both turned to one another, eyes widening at the same thought.

"BEER! WOOOOOOOOOO!"

"You'd think they would care about the relationship between a neighbouring kingdom but no, they go on about beer", scoffed Arwen rolling her eyes.

"Yeah", agreed Éowyn watching their immature antics, "I betcha they'll be thinking about what kind of prank to pull on Éomer first. Egg yolks in his bath or firecrackers in his bed."

The two women laughed together heartily, both secretly surprised at themselves for having let their guard down for only a moment.

_Ugh! Did I just agree with her? What the hell are you thinking Éowyn? _

Underneath the table Arwen was violently pinching her hands to death.

_You're a Queen for Valar's sake! You don't converse with the enemy just because you're husband does with her husband! Wait a minute… 'converse with the enemy?' What the? Get your act together Undómiel!_

"I'm going to pack." Muttered Éowyn walking off in the direction of the Citadel doors.

_Me too._ Sighed Arwen.

"And don't forget to pack me some warm clothes! Rohan's a cold place Undómiel!"

"Yeah yeah I know! I've been there before." Shouted back Arwen.

Both Aragorn and Faramir looked up from their mock wrestling match, frowning at the Elf strangely.

"_Melamin_…are you alright? Do you need some panadol or maybe a little rest?"

"Dude, she just woke up! She doesn't need another rest!" Whispered Faramir desperately, half choking, wheezing with Aragorn's arm wrapped tight around his neck.

"No, no I'm fine", laughed Éowyn nervously, tripping over her skirts as she hurriedly made her way towards the hallway situated past the Steward's chair which led to the King and Queen's bedchamber.

Once she was out of earshot Aragorn dropped Faramir to the floor and stared after his wife confusedly.

"Dude", wheezed Faramir rubbing his red neck, "you seriously need to check out the city's water supply."

The dark haired man simply looked down at his friend and pursed his lips thoughtfully.

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**Author/Banshee Queen: "Review! You know you want to! Hey that rhymes..."**


	4. On The Road & Fist Fights

**Author/Banshee Queen: _(Exhausted sigh.) _I have been working on this chapter day & night just to get it posted out to you guys. : ) And let me just say, thank you very very much for the reviews! They really make me wanna' continue on with this story so much & are what keep me going whilst writing these chapters. So thank you again guys, please keep reviewing & I'll keep bangin' out these babies' for you:D **

**I've noticed that these chapters are a bit long & I've tried cutting them down, but its just so bloody hard! Tell me if it gets a bit much & I'll see what I can do. I'd also like to say another big thank you to you guys for actually reading this bloody long thing! These chapters are outrageously enormous & for you to sit there & thoroughly read through them really makes me appreciative of the time you give up to read them. I admire you guys for that, so thank you again. _(Huggles all readers.)_**

**A couple more notes to you guys; this chapter gets a little…_violent_, should I say so you have been warned! **

**Also for those of you who don't know what _'Hadafang'_ is, it is Arwen's sword in the Fellowship of the Ring which we all know she unsheathes and brandishes to the Ringwraiths at the Ford. It has something written along it like 'sword of a lady' etc. I don't know the exact translation but just thought you should know. **

**And lastly, (and sadly), I am back to school again after the Easter holidays so Chapter 5 may not be out for quite some time. Nonetheless I will keep writing whenever I get a chance away from the tiresome burden called "school" and "assessment" and "assignments" and- oh never mind, the list goes on as you all know & a painful one at that. **

**Oh & to _Squirrel on the Edge_ & _Vesper Forest, _I have a question to ask; what are frat boys/prats? I had a bit of an idea but please explain it to me anyway.**

**Anyway on with the chapter & as always, happy reading! (If you can manage to get through it…)**

**Disclaimer: _(Screams at the top of her lungs.)_ "I don't own anything damit but this story and the ideas!"**

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**Chapter 4: On the Road & Fist Fights**

"I can't believe you talked me into this." Hissed the Elf sitting astride a black gelding.

Sitting comfortably on Asfaloth and with a natural at ease posture in the saddle of Asfaloth, Éowyn rolled her eyes and stared ahead rigidly, trying to ignore the Elf's simpering complaints of how her rear end had begun to go sore from only a couple of hours in the saddle.

"It's been five hours Undómiel, which means its five-pm," Arwen sniffed loudly, "which means we have another hour in the saddle before we turn in camp."

The 'Company of the King' had left the White City at noon and had been riding ever since, stopping only for the occasional restroom break and well-wishing folk and children in the townships they passed.

"Another hour of this torture huh?" Muttered Arwen inaudibly, but not quiet enough for Éowyn not to hear.

"Ugh! If you spent more time out practicing your riding skills instead of how well you can embroider, than you wouldn't have a sore arse and be complaining so much!"

"Oh sure", scoffed the Elf, tossing her long wavy golden hair over her shoulder, "spending more than half my day outside smelling like a horse is just so unbelievably enjoyable I just don't know how else I should spend the remainder of my days."

"Whatever", grumbled Éowyn looking sideways at 'herself', "you're supposed to look like a pro at riding, look at the way I'm riding Undómiel! Back straight, shoulders squared, both hands firmly on the reins! And please, if you must, or if, when the horse goes at a gallop don't bob up and down like a jumping roebuck! Dig your butt into the saddle as if you're scooping ice-cream!"

The Elf whipped her head left and looked at 'herself' in disbelief.

"What? What has scooping ice-cream got to do with-

"Just do it! And don't argue with me unless you want to look like an idiot!"

A deep sigh escaped Arwen's lips as she bowed her head. She knew the mortal was right, but just didn't want to give in to her grating know-it-all ways.

_Still, she was born and bred in Rohan. 'Home of the horse lords.' They are the most well known race throughout the entirety of Middle Earth to be the tamers of horses. _Arwen's laugh was cut short in favour for a snort._ And let's not even go into the fact of the Mearas…_Another sigh escaped her throat. _But sadly the cow is better at riding than I-_

Aragorn's voice suddenly broke through her thoughts and in anguish she watched on as he kissed 'her' cheek and showered her with compliments on her 'improved' riding skills.

"So _Melamin _doesn't just have a pretty face and sharp mind huh?"

He grinned again at Éowyn before booting Roheryn in the flanks, and rode off further up ahead to catch up to Faramir. Within minutes the two men were laughing their heads off.

_Roheryn…the horse I gave to Aragorn as a gift. 'Horse of the lady.' _

Out of the corner of her eye Éowyn saw a river of tears cascade down Arwen's face, and watched on with pity as she scrubbed vigorously at her face.

"Everything all right Arwen?" Éowyn asked quietly, eyes locked on with the road ahead.

"I'm fine. I just got a bit of dust in my eyes." She replied, wiping the last of her tears away.

"Are you sure that's not your yearning for your man hiding behind those blue eyes?" Éowyn whispered quietly, eyes bent on her red riding gloves.

But Arwen didn't hear, and the look on her face looked akin to pure cold, steel, ready to hit anyone who got in her way.

After another hour had passed, the Company of the King stopped for the night and set camp. Both the King and Queen's tent and the Steward and White Lady's tent had been situated ten meters apart with both Aragorn and Faramir noticing the 'still' coldness between their wives.

"What is up with those two?" Questioned Faramir shooing away an awaiting stableman and unsaddling his horse.

"Beats me, but personally", Aragorn picked up a brush and began combing through Roheryn's hair, "it's really starting to piss me off."

"You don't say", grumbled Faramir, brushing down his horse's back leg, "I mean I thought they were over the whole 'I'm obsessed and in love with your fiancée' and 'I'm going to kill you if you ever set eyes on my fiancée again' thing."

The brush in Aragorn's hand stopped as he turned and looked at his friend over the horse's back.

"Hang on; you think this is about me?"

Faramir shrugged unconsciously, and continued with his brushing.

"Well I can't think of anything else, and like you said before, it's like they've swapped bodies and are acting like the other normally would."

"Yeah but…", the dark haired man sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair, "oh I don't know."

"Maybe we should just let them sort it out themselves you know", Aragorn nodded, "I mean you know what its like to interfere with a woman when she's having a disagreement with another woman, especially when that woman is your wife." Another nod from Aragorn. "It's like sticking your hand in Gimli's mouth man." Aragorn doubled over at that point, laughing hard and supporting himself with a hand pressed against Roheryn's flank. "That guy'll eat anything!" Continued Faramir, now grinning.

"Yeah I guess you're right", wheezed Aragorn, "better leave it alone than to play with fire."

"Mmmm."

"Hey Fari."

"Yeah?"

"You up for a game of pool?"

"What?" Faramir's shaggy head of hair popped up from over the back of his horse.

"You heard me", laughed Aragorn, feeding Roheryn some hay.

"But how? We don't even have a pool table."

"Oh", pouted the king mockingly, "I never think that far ahead", he pointed outside the tent, gesturing towards a large cart covered with a dark blue tarp.

"So that's what it is!" Faramir exclaimed, surprise and happiness mingled as one. "I was wondering just what the hell that was, but-

"Stop talking, more playing." Aragorn sighed as he yanked Faramir by the collar and dragged him outside.

Two days later after having to listen to Arwen complain about another million things on their road trip, Éowyn beamed with pride at the sight before her. In the distance lay a small gleaming rectangle of gold, otherwise known as Edoras; the Golden Hall. Arwen had been there once before, a time which she did not like to recall. Fare-welling her father forever was one of the hardest things she ever had to do in the entirety of her life as Éowyn remembered her telling, and the memory even now brought tears to her eyes as she saw 'herself' scrub at the tears falling down her cheeks.

"Overwhelmed at being home again Éowyn?" Questioned Faramir, softly reining his mount in closer to hers and wrapping his arms around her.

Arwen merely nodded sadly and smiled through her tears, murmuring a quiet 'yes' and laughing suddenly at something Faramir had said to lighten the mood.

"It just brings back…memories…", Arwen locked eyes with Éowyn and for a fleeting second the White Lady saw the pain there in her eyes.

Out of nowhere, tears of her own sprang from her eyes and she found herself plunging headfirst into long-lost memories of her childhood, people, places and things which had happened in her early lifetime. Familiar smells, sights and things she had heard from long ago came flooding back in all those tears…and then suddenly Aragorn was there, wrapping both arms around her in a warm and comforting hug and murmuring things in Elvish which she didn't understand. When she looked at him blankly however, he whispered softly; "Ada?" Éowyn nodded dumbly and looked down at the reins in her hands.

"I'm right here beside you Arwen", the White Lady's eyes flickered up to meet his, he rarely called Arwen by her name in their presence, in anyone's presence in fact, "we'll face this together. I'm right here beside you Arwen, and I'm not going to leave you."

Éowyn looked at the earnestness shining in his eyes and smiled.

"I'm fine…_Mela-min_…", she pronounced the word slowly, hardly believing she had just said something in Elvish, let alone a word of endearment, "I'm fine."

But however straight her back seemed or expression she tried to portray like that of an ice-queen, Aragorn rode beside her on Roheryn at the same pace, holding her left hand within his tightly, and occasionally looking over at her with a smile of reassurance.

From the back of Éowyn's black gelding Arwen watched the scene with great interest, suspicion, and _pure_ fury.

_When we come back from this stupid trip and this stupid ordeal is over and I'm back in my own body, that woman will be sent **again** to the Houses of Healing with all of her limbs missing by the time I'm through with her!_

The Company rode slowly up the path leading to Meduseld, on the way receiving cheers, shouts and smiles from the waving crowd of the Rohirrim people.

"Wave, or I'll cut off this pretty little hand of yours Undómiel", hissed Éowyn in Arwen's ear as she steered Asfaloth closer to the black gelding and gestured toward the Elf's pale and slender hand holding onto the rein.

The Elf glared daggers before waving queenly-like to the people and forcing a smile onto her thin lips, at the same time receiving more cheers and confused looks from the crowd. A little while later the Company passed through the doors of the Golden Hall, Éowyn with one palm on the back of Aragorn's hand and the other hand holding a fistful of her swaying skirts as she walked. Arwen however, carried out the gesture with more elegance and finesse than the stumbling White Lady.

_Just coz' she can hold a dress better than me-_

Éowyn's thoughts were cut short, for Éomer's voice rang out from the throne.

"Who enters my hall so confidently and with a kick in his stride?" Shouted Éomer at the top of his lungs. His face was hidden by shadow and the thick coat of bearskin atop his shoulders made him look monstrously huge.

_The same coat which belonged to Uncle…_

The White Lady pushed back the tears forcing themselves to her eyes.

_Confidently? Kick in his stride? Ways of the court my arse! _

Arwen sniffed loudly, straightening her back.

"One who would get a haircut!" Called back Aragorn, making Éowyn jump.

A deep, echoing laugh descended from the throne and Éomer ran at full speed, tackling Aragorn with open arms and a manly hug. The two laughed before Éomer stepped back and was attacked by a laughing Faramir.

"Haircut? Geez look at you two! Is the hobbit mullet the new style in Gondor?"

All three men laughed hard, clutching their stomach's and pointing at each other like immature children. Éomer turned toward the company and catching sight of Éowyn melted into a smile.

"Sister", he whispered softly, enveloping her in a warm hug and placing a gentle kiss on her cheek.

Arwen smiled at him kindly and blushed a little, stepping back with her hands folded in front of her.

"Okay so what first guys?" Questioned Éomer rubbing his palms together. "A quick game of pool before you get settled? A ride on the plains? A visit to the Glittering Caves?"

Both Gondorian men looked blankly at each other, both shrugging their shoulders.

"Anything works for me", said Faramir.

"Yeah me too", commented Aragorn.

"Open those doors!" Commanded Éomer to a few awaiting servants, clapping his hands. "Let some light and air through."

"Whoa, quite the king now", jested Faramir nudging the darker haired man in the ribs.

"You keep going like that Éomer and you'll get caught up in that mullet of yours." Smirked Aragorn, scratching his stubble.

Faramir doubled over, face going completely red as he 'silently' laughed.

"Ha ha, very funny. Shut your hole ranger boy."

"Which of us are you talkin' to?" Questioned Faramir.

"Hey! I thought I was ranger boy!" Questioned Aragorn placing his hands on his hips. "I mean I am after all Strider, _and_ Wingfoot as you so named me dude."

"Oh yeah, forgot you two both used pine-cones to wipe your-

"GET HIM!" Cried Faramir launching himself at Éomer and tackling him to the ground.

Éowyn watched on in amusement as the three friends rolled around on the ground trying to unsuccessfully pin one another to the ground with feats of their manly strength. Arwen however, watched on in dismay as Aragorn dirtied his dark blue dress-coat and cloak.

"What's the matter Undómiel? Afraid Aragorn will get a thread caught and tear his nice, clean, new robes?"

A smile of satisfaction reached Éowyn's lips as she watched Arwen fume on the spot, both hands clenching her dress as if she would rip the material to shreds.

_This war isn't over Arwen, it's only just begun._

But before a victorious laugh could escape her throat, that sickening feeling sped up her throat, and the whole ground caved in beneath Éowyn's feet just as she made it to the toilet bowl.

_Again? What is this? Has Arwen got some sort of digestive problem? What is this? _

The rest of the day passed quickly with the company settling in quickly, and after the sun had set and the candles were lit in the Golden Hall, Arwen and Éowyn both found themselves sitting opposite each other of the extremely long dining table, both toying with the food on their plates and smiling whenever either one of their husbands or Éomer included them within the conversation. Éowyn especially clutched her silverware tightly, knuckles turning deathly white as she gripped the edge of the table. Since they had arrived that morning she had felt the whole world lurch beneath her feet and had to have Arwen's chambermaid Lyreth help her to her feet and support her whenever she wished to go someplace.

Surprisingly enough, Legolas and Gimli had arrived a few hours before sunset and claimed they were on their way to the White City to pay Aragorn a visit after stopping for the night at Meduseld.

"_Mae Govannem Arwenamin_", Legolas murmured softly, bowing gracefully and kissing Arwen's hand.

Éowyn smiled courteously and bowed her head slightly, replying; "Good to see you too Legolas."

Eyes wide with horror and mouth agape with shock, Arwen sat stiffly in her high-backed chair, trying to comprehend what the White Lady had just said to one of her closest and most trusted friends. Legolas simply raised an eyebrow in question, then bowed again, striding away off down the Hall towards the doors.

"What in Valar's name was that?" Hissed Arwen across from her place at the table.

"What?" Questioned Éowyn innocently, raising her goblet to her lips, "I greeted him didn't I?"

"Not the way I normally would!"

"Well I'm not you!" Retaliated Éowyn, waving her goblet around and splashing ale all over her plate, "I'm Éowyn daughter of Eómund, Princess of Rohan, known far and wide as the White Lady and pissed off as hell that I'm stuck in your body!"

"Don't flash your titles at me you little bitch, I've got quick a couple of my own and far greater than yours besides."

"Are you listening to me?" Said Faramir, waving a hand in front of Éomer's face.

Seated at the head of the table, leaning to one side of his high-backed armchair with his chin resting on his hand, Éomer gazed interestedly and almost trance-like down the length of the long dining table.

"Huh?" Éomer snapped out of his momentary trance. "Oh, sorry. Was just listening to Arwen and Éowyn's conversation."

"Oh", moaned Faramir, slouching further into his high-backed chair. "Learn anything new by any chance?"

But Éomer didn't answer, and immediately Faramir and Aragorn swung their heads in the direction Éomer was looking. Éowyn was sitting stiffly in her chair glaring ahead at Arwen who was wielding around her goblet around as if it were some sort of staff. Every so often Éowyn would reply to something the Elf had said, glaring coldly as Arwen's head bobbed from side to side, face growing redder and redder with every breath; to the three men it seemed as if she were at the pinnacle of her argument or about to explode.

"I thought those two were over that whole 'I'm obsessed and in love with your fiancée' and 'I'm going to kill you if you ever set eyes on my fiancée again' thing."

"Hey! I said the exact same thing two night's before!" Exclaimed Faramir, eyes widening.

"Quiet Fari", remarked Aragorn, turning his attention back to Éomer, "you think this is about me?"

"Hey! And you said the exact same thing two night's before!"

"Quiet Faramir!" Cried Éomer and Aragorn in unison.

"You mean to say you _still_ think they're on about that?" Questioned Aragorn.

Éomer shrugged.

"Well what else could it be? I see no other reason unless it's just that time of the-

"Dessert!" Squealed Faramir, gleefully clapping his hands together and grinning broadly.

From beside him, Gimli muttered something incoherent and buried himself in his mug of ale again as the servants began clearing up the table and replacing platters of pork and casserole dishes with platters of cakes, tarts, ice cream and such.

"As I was saying", continued Éomer throwing Faramir a quick aggravated glance, "what else could it be? Cover every subject and you'll find nothing else between the two to spark an argument."

"Or a dispute", sang a familiar clear voice.

The foursome looked up, smiling once Legolas seated himself comfortably next to Aragorn and placed a small cask of red wine on the table.

"A dispute you say?" Questioned Éomer raising an eyebrow.

"Of course. Anyone who hadn't picked up on it since the very first moment those two met each other, would be blind."

Faramir began shovelling pudding tenfold faster into his mouth than he had before, Éomer becoming interested in the dirt under his fingernails and Aragorn's eyes began wondering around the Hall, watching as servants scurried back and forth carrying out their duties.

"Oh puh-lease! Don't tell me you three didn't know?" Questioned Legolas, placing his wine goblet down on the table hurriedly.

Faramir looked up suddenly and glowered at the Elf defensively.

"We didn't say-

"Yep, they had no clue", coughed Gimli abruptly interrupting and looking down into his mug when all three mortals frowned down at him. Only Legolas smiled warmly and knowingly at the dwarf before him, lifting the cask of red wine up.

"Wine anyone?" He inquired, smiling at the stunned faces next to and across from him.

"Wait, you knew?" Asked Aragorn in disbelief.

Gimli simply laughed heartily, rocking back in his chair and scratching his beard lazily.

"Well now I feel like an idiot", mumbled Faramir setting his fork down on his plate exasperatedly and pushing it to one side.

"Then nothings changed", murmured Éomer putting his goblet to his lips.

"Dude, you didn't know either!" Faramir said, eyeing the Rohirrim king as if here were an imbecile.

A low chuckle escaped Aragorn's throat as he shook his head and spooned a piece of tart into his mouth.

"Hey what're you laughin' at? You didn't know either dude."

The Gondorian king's face became a statue of pure stone.

"And don't even think about it Elf boy!" Faramir shouted, pointing his finger at Legolas just as the Elf opened his mouth to say something.

"Wow, seems like the tables have certainly turned." Said Gimli with a hint of amazement tinging his voice. The dwarf brought his hands up to bar the other three's glares however when their eyes rested upon him. "What? I was only saying."

But then the five all fell silent as both Arwen and Éowyn's voices drifted across their conversation.

"…and ale? You're drinking ale? I never drink ale! You're polluting my body with that disgusting drink! Stop it at once!"

"Stop it at once?" Repeated Éowyn, raising an eyebrow. "It's the Fourth Age in case you hadn't noticed Arwen and you're living in a human world now so quit using old language!"

"It's not my fault if I was educated whilst I was growing up", hissed Arwen glaring at her enemy across the table.

"You know Undómiel, I just can't believe that someone like Aragorn would be interested in someone like you."

"Oh?" Questioned the Elf sarcastically, raising an eyebrow. "It's not as if he would go for a brat like you."

Strangely enough, a wry smile appeared on Éowyn's lips as she leant forward on the table, both hands fanned out. Arwen cowered lower in her seat, shrinking under the mortal's mischievous gaze.

"Do you know where his hands were the morning after I awoke trapped in your body?"

Pure fear shot through every nerve in Arwen's body as she felt every muscle tense and in that instant the Elf knew she wanted kill Éowyn with her bare hands.

"You don't think something bad is gonna' happen do you?" Faramir whispered in Gimli's ear.

And then everything seemed to happen all at once.

Éowyn leapt up onto the table on all fours, her hands choking the life out of Arwen who had dropped her goblet, wine splashing all over the table as well as hers and Éowyn's garb. The mortal with disturbing ease, lifted the Elf clear off the ground and slammed her down onto the table hard, that night's dessert flying every which way and that, as the two women fought furiously.

All three men scrambled to their feet, Gimli managing to grab hold of Faramir pants, threatening to pull them down if he did not stop struggling against his hold. Legolas on the other hand had both Aragorn and Éomer to deal with. The dark haired man fought against the Elf's surprisingly strong grip, using his body as a barricade in Aragorn's way.

"Hama!" Yelled Legolas, gesturing towards Éomer who was about to pry his sister off Arwen.

The doors of the Golden Hall burst open, eight Rohirrim guards running in to restrain their king with Hama in the process of getting his beard ripped off by Éomer.

"I'm the Lord of the Mark and I will do what I wish!" Cried Éomer trying to reach for the back of Éowyn's dress through the hold of four guards.

"Just why the hell am I supposed to be restraining my king Legolas?" Hama angrily questioned, trying to pry Éomer's fingers off his beard.

"Because he was trying to grab Éowyn off of Arwen!" Retorted the Elf trying to unsuccessfully persuade Aragorn to take a seat and calm down.

All eight guards swivelled their heads to look over at the dining table, mouths hanging open, noticing for the first time the Lady Éowyn strangling the very life out of the Queen of Gondor.

"Why is that a bad thing?" Screamed Faramir as Gimli ripped off his pants.

"I want to know why they're fighting!" Yelled Legolas pushing Aragorn forcefully down into his chair.

"Let go of me damit!" Roared Éomer, finally becoming overpowered by his own guards.

"I will let you all be if you just stand still!" Hollered Legolas looking to Faramir, Aragorn, then Éomer.

"Fine!" Growled Faramir, buckling up his belt.

Aragorn looked up and nodded at Legolas from within his chair, Éomer sighing deeply as one by one his guards loosened their grip and finally let go of him.

Legolas laid a hand on Aragorn's shoulder, to reassure him but mainly to set him firmly in his place. Standing by Faramir, Gimli stood with both hands clasped in front of him, twitching every so often with the urge to lay hands on the mortal beside him. Hama merely laid a hand on the hilt of his sword as he stood stiffly by his king whose arms were folded tightly, feet apart in a sure footed stance and eyebrows drawn down watching his sister tear apart the Elf beneath her.

"…fucking bitch! I'm going to kill you!" Screamed Arwen as she lifted Éowyn's head off the table momentarily and slammed it back down harshly repeatedly.

"He called me _Melamin_," choked Éowyn, face going redder by the second, "but of course you didn't know that did you?"

Arwen loosened her grip on 'her' own neck briefly before that look of primal urge to kill shot through her eyes again and her hands were all over Éowyn's neck again.

"Seems that Aragorn likes the Southern lands better than the Northern."

The mortal coughed raggedly as Arwen squeezed even harder, teeth gritted in a terrifying snarl.

"You're giving yourself wrinkles!" Squealed Éowyn.

The Elf gasped, taken aback, hands springing back from Éowyn's neck as if she had just touched a hot plate, but not before Éowyn snarled and reached behind her, bringing a large wine pitcher _SMACK BANG!_ Right into the side of Arwen's head. The Elf fell off of Éowyn and curled up into a ball, nursing the side of her head and moaning.

"Just because-

_WHAM! _

Éowyn hit the Elf viciously in the knee with a silver platter she had grabbed off the table, "you know that you're husband", the mortal grabbed a fistful of 'her' own golden hair and yanked down hard, "wants me, you think you can choke the living daylights out of me?" Yelled Éowyn smashing a small clay vase onto Arwen's head.

Beneath the deep cut forming on her head, Arwen laughed heartily, rolling onto her side and winching once her knee-cap came into contact with the table's surface.

"At least I know who's the gorgeous one out of us", the Elf smiled tauntingly.

Éowyn's eyes widened with recognition.

Faramir always greeted her every morning that way, telling her; _"…you are gorgeous, I love you, and I love you because you're my delectable wife". _

Her eyes widened in horror with the memory, and partly because she saw the two oncoming pan lids of a casserole dish enveloping both sides of her head.

_BOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG!_

The sound of the two pan lids colliding with Éowyn's head was enormous, it echoed throughout the hall, nearby servants, the Rohirrim guards, Gimli, Legolas and the four mortals all standing with eyes widened and mouths hanging agape as they watched the fight continue between both women. Even the two dogs laying by the roaring fire, sat up straight, ears raised above their heads, senses alert as they watched the two females of the 'human species' collide with each other.

Arwen rolled Éowyn clear off of her and onto the floor where she lay trying to gather herself up. In a second however, Arwen was back, grabbing hold of her head and pinning 'herself' down with what little body weight she had.

"So you think he likes it down South huh?"

Éowyn simply looked up at 'herself' with fear, trying to somehow cower lower beneath 'her' own penetrating glare and the cold stone floor under her.

"Well this is how we do things up North!"

With that, Arwen knocked her skull with Éowyn's brutally, at the same time rising to her feet and dragging her prisoner back towards the table. Flinging her onto the table as if she weighed no more than a blade of grass, she scrambled back on top of Éowyn and threw punch after punch directly at her face.

At the other end of the table, Aragorn sat with both palms lying flat against the table's surface, disbelieving at the sight he was seeing. Both Faramir and Éomer stood spellbound, both containing themselves from rushing over and putting a stop to the fight.

"Get off me you fucking cow!" Screamed Éowyn, pushing Arwen off of her with both hands gripped onto her shoulders.

Now it was Arwen lying on her back and Éowyn had the upper hand…literally.

Cake after cake Éowyn mushed with her bare hands into 'her' own wavy golden tresses, roughly tearing at 'her' own hair, mud-cake spattering over every inch of their raiments and down into the cracks of their cleavage.

"If I had Hadafang with me here right now, I'd be sending you to the nearest goddamn hospital in a fucking matchbox you bitch!"

The two continued with their long awaited, longed-to-be-unleashed battle, this time Arwen gaining control by seizing both of Éowyn's hands and somehow managing to bind them with a nearby dirty napkin. The Elf quickly climbed to her feet and picking up a large serving bowl, raised it above her head and dropped it mercilessly upon the recoiling Éowyn.

_SPLAT! _

Vanilla custard splattered all over the table, chairs and floor, Éowyn taking the brunt of it. It enveloped her entire foetal-like position, covering her face, and sinking in between the small cracks of her hair.

"Someone should stop this", said Gimli sternly, eyes glinting with a seriousness the four had only seen when at the Black Gate of Mordor.

"What? Why?" Asked Faramir suddenly.

"Want some more blondie?" Screamed Arwen.

_THWACK! _

The same platter Éowyn used to hit Arwen in the knee with only a moment ago came crashing head-on with Éowyn's face.

"AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!"

The mortal ran at full speed towards Arwen, kneeing her ruthlessly in the gut before bodily tackling her to the stone floor. The two rolled over one another kicking, hitting and screaming as they reeled down a couple of stairs leading towards the fireplace. Both dogs leapt out of the way as they continued their barbaric-like brawl.

"Because sooner or later one of them is going to fall out of their dresses and this is going to get a lot nastier than it already is." Concluded Gimli.

"He's absolutely right", agreed Legolas, still watching the fight closely.

Both Aragorn and Éomer cried out and bounded towards the two women once they saw that they had somehow grabbed hold of a fireplace poker each.

"Take them to their rooms!" Called Legolas as he watched Aragorn wrestle the poker forcefully out of her grasping hands and Éomer bodily drag Éowyn away with both arms enclosed about her shoulders.

"What the hell is going on with those two!" Exclaimed Faramir loudly, throwing his hands up into the air in frustration.

"I don't know", sighed the Elf, staring after Hama leading the eight guards after Aragorn and Éomer, "but I'm going to find out."

"That's what Aragorn said last time", grimaced the fair haired man.

"This time you shall receive an answer Faramir", echoed the Legolas' voice as he strode after the party.

"I sure as hell better", muttered the mortal to himself as he quickly walked after the Elf.

**

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****Author/Banshee Queen: _(Watches reader's intently with a glint of anxiousness & eagerness shining in her eyes.)_ "Did you like the fight? Was it good?" _(Rocks back & forth yearning for a review.) _"Oh please review & tell me! The suspense is killing me!"**


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